I had a meeting in London this week which involved an overnight stay and whilst the hotel was of a very good standard, I had the exact same irritation I always have with hotel stopovers. It seems to me that every hotel in the whole world is perfectly satisfied with completely useless toasters.
At best, the gargantuan device could only ever be called a warmer, even after extending the courtesy of using tongs to transfer the bread from side plate to conveyor and having invested a significant amount of your allotted breakfast time waiting, you are never rewarded with toast.
With overwhelming frustration, the etiquette of using tongs is recklessly abandoned as a second pass at the inadequate elements is orchestrated. Having already concerned yourself with the dilemma of loading the toaster before hot breakfast selection or waiting until after, thus sacrificing the luxury of breakfast which is still hot for the security of knowing your potential toast is not being manhandled by another guest you don’t need the inadequacies of toaster design to set the day off on the wrong foot.
This failure of a hotels’ ability to even provide a slight hint of shade to the morning bread seems to be of one of life’s inevitabilities that society seems to readily accept without question? We’ve all hopelessly twiddled with the knobs on the contraption and the engineer in me has even tried to diagnose a remedy in the painful wait, but surely there must be a company out there who could come up with something new that could solve this inconvenience in our lives, where is Dyson when you need him?
Now I am no expert in toaster procurement but I do know that if I had designed a heating system for a hotelier which barely did the job, there would be no end of complaints and had I had the audacity to blatantly repeat this shortfall in every hotel in the world I am sure my career would be toast. So, the next time you experience such disregard for the standards of toasting don’t forget to mention the inadequacies of the apparatus in question to the receptionist when you check out. Some things in life are important.
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